Hot Tub Archive
2001
Fatty, on 6 Feb 2001, said
Well, no one has posted to the HOTTUB in a while, so I thought I'd take these couple
minutes between class to do so. Yes, 'tis true, I finally turned in my survey,
after all these months of waiting.
Spooge can finally put my profile as his wallpaper and pleasure himself accordingly
or do whatever it is he plans to do once I'm enblazoned on his monitor.
I challenge Squawker to also belly up to the bar and turn in his survey!
I'd like to give a shout out to Wheels, who was seen this last weekend in Green Bay,
and Stroker, for hosting his party two weekends ago.
Fine scotch whiskey that man serves.
I have to leave now, so I'll encourage people to come to Pi Lunch on this and every
Friday and take me on at darts and/or hockey, games at which I have to be equalled
this year, save one hockey game against Bares and one game of darts against Dave.
Now that I'm done in the HOTTUB, I'm going to jump into the swimming pool before
I towel off.
EAT A ROCK, ON WISCONSIN
Fatty, on 24 Feb 2001, said
I've NEVER been as in such bad shape the morning after.
I woke up naked and covered in vomit. My stomach is still turning.
What happened to cause all this, you ask? I woke up next to Spooge.
HA! No, not really, I'd be in even worse shape if that was the case.
Actually, it was the result of the phenomenal party at 1313 Milton last night.
I'd like to offer my thanks and congratulations to Matt, Dave, Bares, Jon
and ol' Cack-n'-Balls Bob Lisi for hosting the affair.
A good time seemed to be had by all.
I have absolutely no recollection of what time I left, but I know I did a lot
of work for arriving a few minutes after midnight.
Time to get back to the hockey game.
CC just tied it at 3 and Bucky needs me to root.
Eat a rock, and ON WISCONSIN
Fatty (Addendum to previous entry), on 24 Feb 2001, said
Much to my chagrin, the Blue House was not thrown up on last night by myself or anyone else, to my knowledge. I think I remember losing interest in the idea after Porterhouse told me there wasn't anything going on there. Just wasn't the same rush involved in the task as when they're inside circle jerking or f*@#ing sheep or doing whatever it is they do there. Eat a Rock and ON WISCONSIN
Janice, on 23 Apr 2001, said
Well, I have decided to finally make my debut in the hot tub
(Translation: I have too much work to do and I don't wanna do it).
I must say it is cozy in here so I will take this time to reflect on the weekend.
As you know, we just finished a three night run of our spectacular concert.
Yes, 'tis true--band has officially come to an end once again and now we just have
those grueling days of reg week ahead of us.
But I'll save that commentary for another time.
Anyway, I must say that the post-concert happenings this weekend were truly a
good time had by all.
Now, I don't like to give much credit to the tubas, because, well, they're the tubas,
but they hosted a most excellent party last night.
I think that's how band parties are supposed to be--putting differences aside and
just kicking back with the people who know what it's like to put in 15 hours of
marching a week.
Singing high quality songs, cuttin' a rug, knocking back shots with "alcohol-allergic"
people, making new friends and even inducting a new honorary member into our fine
organization--what a way to spend a Saturday night.
Yeah, yeah--I'm getting all nostalgic but I had a good time!
Hey, I even got a little action! Ha! Luke Duke kissed me on the cheek!
Yeah, you think I'm dumb but it was funny.
Maybe it's good that it was him though, because if Kevin Stemke would've tried that
I probably would've ended up takin' him down (hot hot hot!). What?
You're not drafted yet? I'll draft you but I can only pay in um, actions,
hope that's not a problem!
I guess that pretty much sums up my feelings.
I gotta get out--hot tubs always make me drowsy. Now get to work!
There's only 3 more weeks of school left!
Peace out
Fatty, on 23 Apr 2001, said
I, like Janice, would like to reflect on the best weekend, including the best day,
Saturday, of the 2001 calendar year.
(See Janice's comment for translation on why I am taking a break in the HOTTUB
right now.)
But anyway, how can you beat a weekend packed full with the KC concerts,
Butch's (the epitome of excess--in a good way, especially for people named Fatty),
parties, bars, rubbing elbows with Dukes of Hazzard cast members, and oh yeah,
no studying?
You have to really reach to do it.
Thursday went well, and I enjoyed being relatively hungover in a class for the
first time ever Friday morning.
Friday was also a good time, maybe the best post-show night in my opinion since
I was drunkest that night.
Add into it good drinking games, a new, extra "Moose" verse from Mr. Dan Uttech
for Tom Wopat, who was in attendance, and a successful title defense of
Makeout Bowling with Janice as the prize and that would give Friday my top vote.
Then we hit Saturday, the greatest day in the year 2001.
The concert series finale complete with Elsa's (my favorite song), Butch's,
a Cubs win, Big Ten and tuba house at night, and an honorary MMP induction....
truly a day never to forget.
Unfortunately, on a serious note, now that everything has wound down for the year,
I'm nostalgic, even sad, to see it come to a close.
It's been a year that beat all my expectations in every way, which I will always
remember, but I can't help thinking just how much the five people we're losing
this year will be missed next year on the field.
THAT indeed makes me sad, but I know just as well as anyone how Leckrone closes
a show--"We never say goodbye; we'll see you real soon, and ON WISCONSIN!"
--Fatty
Shirley, on 22 Jun 2001, said
Ok, now that I'm back in MN, I'm getting shit from everybody I know, I've exhausted all of my Gopher jokes, anybody else got some good ones?
1/2-pint, on 19 Jul 2001, said
Hello- just thought I'd stop in and say hi. Hope everyone's having a great summer. Hey Dave- did you get a postcard from me? I sent it to 1313 Milton in June, and I just hope you guys hadn't moved out by then, or else some random house got a postcard from Boston with a limerick on the back of it. Oops. Anyway... got to get going! See you all Reg Week! *1/2-pint
Stroker, on 3 Sep 2001, said
You little bitches looked pretty damned good at practice today,
especially considering that you've just started the season.
Fatty needs to move his feet some more for the entire length of run-on and to bank
his corners less, but I'm just picking on him because he was marching the best spot
in the entire fucking band.
Ronee's stop at the top was inhuman.
All in all, you looked entirely too good for this early in the year.
Your Mother's A Whore and On Wisconsin,
Stroker
Klitch, on 6 Sep 2001, said
If Stroker can criticize his former spot, so shall I:
hey 101, your sax has no reed, moron.
You guys better put the big pants on for this Saturday's game, and for after the game,
when some old, bitter, and arthritic Pi alumni will be lurking.
By the way, don't take the compliments from Sept. 3 to heart,
he wouldn't be tawkin' so purdy wit my COCK in his mouth.
XOXO,
K
Wheels, on 6 Sep 2001, said
Hey, guess what, I'm that old, bitter, arthritic Pi alumni.
I personally don't give a damn who's in my spot, 241, because if they are sucking ass
now, I'm going come down on them with hell fire that will make their grandchildren's
ears bleed.
Lock up the good liquor and your women boys,
Wheels is coming to town.
BAB & CARLOS, on 7 Sep 2001, said
Carlos and I are proud to announce our departure from the young bucks into the ranks
of the old and feeble thus giving us the right to bitch and complain using remarks
such as "When I was in band..." and "Those blood sucking..." or
"Good story, go f***************** yourself."
We will also be keeping a watchful eye on the carcasses that now fill our former
positions.
No offense Retard, but if you don't put some blubber on those bones,
you will never survive the shirtless winter season.
And Spooge, remember to flush on road trip.
Carlos says "Viva El Guapo!"
A note to Wheelz, you're too late.
We've raped all the horses and rode off on the women!
Another note to Wheelz, remember to never get caught massaging half naked
17 yr old girls in your boxers.
We have pictures.
Well, back to Full Metal Jacket.
Die, scumbag.
BAB and The Mexican Phenom (a.k.a Carlos Emmanuel Santiago Rodriguez Rodriguez)
Stroker, on 8 Sep 2001, said
Let's start this off with the right tone:
FUCK YOU AND ED.
So Wheels, me, and our crew roll up to 1313 Milton, and we say "Where's the saxes?"
The civilian bitches there say "Across the street."
We say "No, that's the drummers."
They say "Oh, they moved out, and we moved in."
Well, fuck them, and fuck you for not making me remember that you told me that you
moved out.
We wound up at the Big Ten, like all good followers of the barley and hop gods do.
Then we checked out the scenery at the State Street Brats.
A national monument it ain't. In it's favor, we did bump into
A-to-the-muthafuckin'-K, his Special Lady Friend, Twatsy, Ceman,
and the crazy assed Heather Whitman and her boy.
There was drinking. There was bullshitting.
It had everything a Pi function needed EXCEPT YOUR LAZY ASSES.
I don't care if we didn't tell you about it, you simply should have known.
Passin' the mic to Wheelsie's House...
On a lighter note, you lazy fux.
My god men, grow a sack and get your selves out, for christ's sake.
Hmmm, sad. Well, that's all I got to say about that.
Dave, on 11 Sep 2001, said
Sad, but true. 1313 Milton was left behind one whole month ago. A lot has happened in one month. Stroker and Klitch made appearances at practice, Wheels broke his foot playing baseball so he wouldn't have to embarass himself marching, Bob turned 23, Whorehouse left for Germany. Some things, though, will never change -- like Utter plodding around on the field while his grandkids watch from the stands and Stroker bitching and moaning when cool people fail to show up at the local watering holes. As for the Big10, I'm assuming all you old folks had come and gone by the time I arrived with my bitches in tow. (We wouldn't want you guys to miss your bed time) So as any self-respecting saxophone would do, we trekked across campus to Brats in search of old friends and good times. Upon arrival, we ran into some problems at the door, as even Ashley was unable to talk her drunk self past the bouncer. A quick entrance into the bar revealed nothing overly exciting, which was to be expected since the majority of patrons were alumni band. We left in search of a better time, and when nothing was found I left Janice behind to try and liven up the joint like only a redhead can. So thats the way I saw it. Maybe next time you ladies should make an effort to find us lazy fux before we walk across campus and back only to be disappointed by the lack of your presence. Like I said, a lot sure has changed...
chuckles, on 19 Sep 2001, said
All of the mu mu pi alumni that didn't show up for alumni band... you suck! Even Wheels showed up with his bum foot. What's wrong guys? Don't have what it takes any more?
Klitch, on 22 Sep 2001, said
Retard...so, you went out looking, but noone to be found.
Well, I'll assure you, not much has changed. At least not as much as you think.
While you were searching, in vain, to find us we were two steps ahead.
Nobody said we ever went home from Brats.
Truth is, we grew tired of waiting for your pre-maturely aged PI ass.
Please.
Brian, on 28 Sep 2001, said
Dammit!
I didn't make out with one single PSU student while we were in State College.
All I had to settle for was being a shield for Leckrone so that he could change
clothes (Janice peeked!).
At least I'm on his good side now-- maybe he'll give me 248 (j/k Fatty).
On the bright side, I get a second chance on Saturday with Band Day.
So many eligible high schoolers ...
Peace, love and opportunity,
Waterboy
P.S. No fucking cadence?!
That's as bad as Fatty getting circumcised at yesterday's Yom Kippur practice.
Oy vey!
1/2-pint, on 3 Oct 2001, said
'Sup everyone?
I just dropped in for a quick dip mainly because I was sick of doing homework.
All the alumni's stories were pretty entertaining.
Well, got to get going, already.
Eat a rock (and my shit while you're at it.)
1/2-Pint
Brian, on 24 Oct 2001, said
Yes, I am posting again! Warning: it's a novel!
Story #1:
On Friday, Oct. 19, I was at the hockey game (I have season tickets).
After my friendly visit with the saxes (Suan, Spooge, Lance and Jimenez),
I started back towards my seat.
As I passed Mike, he said in a stern and very snide manner,
"You're wearing the wrong uniform," which referred to my hockey jersey.
I said, "Oh, I'm not playing in the band tonight. I have tickets."
To which he replied, "Well, you'd better tell your friends
[the other saxes who were also wearing the hockey jersey instead of the band sweater]."
That was not a fun moment, let me tell ya!
Moral: no more jerseys for hockey games.
Story #2:
At practice on Oct. 23, we were working on a move where each line does it in
succession. At spot 246, I was not in a horizontal line with anyone.
Mike made each line raise their hands (line 1, then line 2, etc.).
When he yelled for line 2, he asked "Aren't you in line 2, Brian?"
I held up three fingers (I should have held up just one-- wink wink) and said,
"No, line 3."
After looking confused, he finally agreed.
Moral: always know what line you're in, and don't be afraid to stand up to Mike.
Story #3.
This is extremely long, and I don't feel like typing it.
To make a long story short, I was at the McClain Facility on Oct. 22 for the
Badger Games, and I got a picture with Jim Sorgi.
Afterwards, he offered his hand to me(!!!). I of course shook it and said,
"Good luck this weekend, man."
Moral: Brian Lee is the shit.
I'm done. Thanks for reading!
--Waterboy
Dave, on 31 Oct 2001, said
Great stories, Waterboy.
Go Fuck Yourself.
1/2-pint, on 4 Nov 2001, said
Hi everybody. I was just surfing the internet, no, not for porn, when I came across the bone's web page. It's pretty lame- not even close to our's (thanks to the genius in our section, Suan), but it's good for a laugh. The address is www.sit.wisc.edu/~trombone/index2.html Have fun, but remember what Mike said... "Stay off the damn internet!"
Brian, on 20 Nov 2001, said
As I'm sure all of you are, I am completely devastated by the loss to Michigan.
No further comment on that-- you all know the implications from the defeat.
Just so they're never forgotten, here are eight limericks about various sax players:
|
--CUT--
I've posted these classics on its very own page: Waterboy's Limerick Gallery along with our favorite photo of Brian in uniform ;-D. -Suan |
Waterboy